No more summer bummer: a traveller's guide
Your first sober vacation, ramblings on drinking culture, beach reads, and upping my galette game
Hey friends! Are you dealing with city heat and need a vacation? You deserve it. The Out of Office emails are flooding in, we’re lacking proper AC, and Instagram feels like some kind of travel company ad where everyone is much hotter and happier than you. We’ve craving the sweetness of jetting off on holiday. Summer means we get to use the cash and PTO we’ve been saving to travel with our partner, friends, family, or just fly solo.
This well-deserved time of R&R comes with experiencing a new culture and environment. It’s time to switch off, read, and be on a beach. It also often comes with alcohol. Because we feel we deserve it. No school or work the next day and the hangover can be spent on a sun lounger sipping an extra crispy Fanta Limón. The responsibilities we have that day are: 1) get to the hotel breakfast before it ends, 2) find a good spot by the pool, 3) try not to get sun burnt so we don’t look like a lobster by dinnertime.
For those of us who are either sober, trying to cut back, or just a little curious, a holiday can be a great temptation to succumb to that piña colada or glass of red with dinner. We’re on holiday! If you want to go for it, then I am not going to stop you, but if you are trying to take a different route on your next trip, then:
Here are my thoughts on having an alcohol-free vacation.
Let me preface this by saying, I think there’s a valid reason why British people have a horrendous reputation when we’re away. Between the hen and stag parties being sick in the streets, a reluctance to immerse in the local culture and tracking down the local McDonald’s, or using this as an excuse for all-day drinking, we’ve made quite a name for ourselves. Last year alone, there was a campaign in Amsterdam urging British tourists to stay away, brawls on planes leading to airlines banning alcohol sales, and there was even talk of blacklisting Brits from Magaluf and Ibiza. It’s clear that this ‘anything-goes’ attitude may no longer be welcome, not that I’m complaining.
I’d been sober less than a month before I went on holiday with my mum, quickly realising I’d be surrounded by people drinking, not just in the evenings, but all day. It’s neither my business nor my place to tell them to do anything different. I also couldn’t shake the feeling that by choosing not to drink, I was losing this opportunity to bond with my mum or I’d seem boring.
Let’s face it, travelling can be triggering.
Quitting drinking alcohol can give you a haunting feeling you offer less to others by having made a decision which can leave you feeling quieter, less extroverted, or even less fun to be around. Getting drunk really shouldn’t be a high priority when we’re away, especially if we consider how the vast majority of us get so few days out of the year to travel and actually switch off from work. But we get sold on boat parties, beach parties, wine-tasting, bar-hopping…
Why are we going away just to get so inebriated we can’t even remember the holiday?
Chunks of our vacation memories are lost to the giant cocktail pitchers or endless stream of local beers. The next day is spent with a throbbing head, dry mouth, and we turn down offers to go on that exploration hike because ‘we really need to just get some sleep on the sun lounger’.
We’re on the flight home swiping through our pictures with haziness from the nights out, regrets from the drunken mistakes, and silently hoping no one is mad at you for something you don’t remember saying drunk.
I have experienced many of these tequila-soaked holidays, mainly in my late-teens and early twenties where the pull of going away was drinking with friends (ideally on a beach or boat but really wherever was cheap). I had no real interest in sightseeing or trying new food and I’d be too hungover to even be able to focus my eyes for long enough to read a book. I would return home filled to the brim with fresh new anxieties, as well as bad tan lines, and severe dehydration.
So, what if you want to try an alcohol-free holiday? Your OOO is set up, your suitcase is packed (you remembered your sunscreen right?), now here’s my advice on how to have a great sober vacation:
Set your boundaries: Let’s say you’re away with a group of friends who all want to spend the day at a wine tasting, this could be a potential problem. Either because you have no interest in drinking, or because it’s going to be tempting to drink. Set a healthy boundary depending on your headspace; will it be better for you to go, not miss out, but be the only non-drinker? Or, will you feel better to stay behind and have a relaxing day with books, views and me-time? You also need to communicate your boundaries to your friends and express any discomfort as a reason you’re removing yourself from the situation. Your boundary can’t be telling them that they aren’t allowed to drink.
Food f-cking food: I’m sorry but when you make the food the star of the show and not just something to line your stomach before you go out and get drunk, IMO the holiday becomes so much better. Enjoy that mediterranean diet everyone says we should be on to live to 150, experience fresh ingredients or the taste of different cuisines. Look for restaurants because of their food menu, not because of their cheap wine. My trips to Paris in the last two years, alcohol didn’t even come to my mind because HELLO croissants, pastries, and Pierre Hermé macarons.
We live in a bubble: As a British girl who has lived in Surrey, Liverpool and London, I think it’s fair to say I have experienced the UK’s drinking culture (you should read this take from The Quiet 20s). I also have a French partner who has lived in London for 10 years, during which he’s been pretty horrified by the way Brits drink. Collectively we have a lot of thoughts. Drinking seems a part of our lives from our mid-teens as we guzzle Smirnoff Ice and Malibu (for some, it’s the stolen fancy spirits from our parents), before graduating to slamming pints and shots in pubs and bars at 18. It feels like part of the fabric of UK society. I could talk about this a lot more (and believe me I will), but for now, bear in mind, the whole world does not drink to excess and it’s incredibly common to not drink once you step away from a drinking culture like the UK.
Release the pressure: Just because it’s your holiday, or your best friend’s Grecian bachelorette, or Becky’s post-breakup blowout in Cancun (sorry Becky), it still doesn’t mean you have to drink if you don’t want to. I respect your choice so damn right your friends should too. I talked more about how to handle peer pressure if you’re in need of a few tips.
Beach read recommendations:
These won’t be as lighthearted or steamy as your regular beach reads, these memoirs have a sober twist so expect talk of addiction, recovery, relapse, and mental health diagnoses. I promise, they are worth reading despite sounding a little bleak. Buckle up, I guess.
Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher. As a Star Wars and Carrie Fisher fan, this book only made me love her even more. Her powerful and moving insight into the highs and lows of her life from her upbringing, Star Wars fame, as well as managing to make her romantic failures funny. She sheds a light on her unfiltered relationship with alcohol, going to AA meetings at age 28 and her mental health diagnoses.
How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell. It's a chaotic, brutally honest and beautiful memoir where no stone seems left unturned as Cat shares her struggle with addiction and dependence. She writes with so much energy and vibrance, all while maintaining a twisted sense of humour, that you feel enthralled by her story, frustrated by her slip-ups, and hopeful for her recovery.
Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis. The lead singer from one of my favourite bands opens the door to us on his journey from childhood to the early 2000s and his rise to fame, but also his previously tormented relationship with drugs and alcohol before getting sober.
A lot of us get so little time away between juggling annual leave, family responsibilities, and funds. A vacation should be yours to enjoy without feeling you should drink or will disappoint those around you if you don’t. Relish the sunshine, switch off your 7am alarm, see new cities and be patient with yourself if this is your first sober holiday.
What‘s been playing 🎶
Hey baby, the sun is out that means country music is back on my Spotify!
A couple favourites from this week:
Sober by Gavin Adcock (sadly it’s not the sobriety positive hit you’re may be expecting)
Playin’ on the Tracks by Luke Grimes
Straight and Narrow by Sam Barber
Pink Skies by Zach Bryan
Listen to my country music playlist:
What I’ve been wearing 🛍️
To work from home: Zara tank top & H&M linen trousers, Vans
To the office: UO blazer, Levi’s tee, Abercrombie jeans, Nike Jordans
To get coffee: Uniqlo tee, UO trousers, Adidas trainers
To a Foo Fighters concert: Uniqlo tee, Zara skirt, New Balance trainers
What products I’m loving 🧖🏼♀️
ANUA Heartleaf Quercetinol Deep Cleansing Foam: Gentle and exfoliating - I absolutely adore this skincare brand.
Bose Headphones: After more than a year of not running, I’ve started running a 5k at the end of upper body day gym workouts and these are great at staying put on my head and for their sound quality. I’ve had my pair for about 5 years (maybe even longer?) and they’re totally worth it.
What’s been cooking 👩🏼🍳
Sticky honey sesame noodles with toasted peanuts and kimchi
Roasted vegetable stacks and baked fish with a lemon yoghurt dill sauce and hot honey ricotta
Hot honey ricotta courgette galette (so happy to make another galette after loving Wishbone Kitchen’s tomato one, and found this recipe by Isabelle Heikens)
Lemon pancakes with yoghurt, mango and blueberries (obviously with a maple syrup drizzle too): Listen up, I mean this with total sincerity, these were the BEST pancakes I’ve ever had. I did not make them, my partner Jerome did, with protein powder, cottage cheese and vanilla stevia so not only were they incredible but also high protein and so goddamn moist and fluffy.
This weekend I’ve been in holiday prep mode. I fly Wednesday morning and I’m a chronic packing panicker. Do I have every item for any possible scenario? How many bikinis is too many? I also am a firm believer in tidying and cleaning your house before you go away. So even though I am leaving behind my partner in the flat, I still feel the urge that I must do a little cleaning sweep before I go.
If you have a holiday coming up soon and you want to avoid drinking, try to focus on your surroundings and quality time with whoever you’re with. Be patient with yourself and don’t let anyone dictate what you should be doing. I hope you have a wonderful time. Just remember, it’s okay if you’re the only one not drinking.
See you next Sunday! 🩷
Sophie
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enjoyed this topic! i think there is also this notion of “missing out” on a culture when you travel to a new place and Don’t drink what the locals drink. i honestly relate this feeling to social media constantly pushing “the best itinerary” or “you can’t travel to X and not see this…”, it makes us feel like we are wasting our time if we don’t do it all.
but as you said, who wants to be hungover on vacation??
Absolutely love this! Your outfits are so aesthetic and you are so pretty💕